desires

I am not sure what I want these days. I am not sure what to run after and what to just sit here and wait to happen on its own. I am not sure what I am doing right now with my life except that I am letting God just use me however He wants to. But I am finding myself having dreams and desires crushed. I wonder if it is possible for the will of God and the dreams of the hearts in men can come together. I would like to think they could. Why else would God create these desires in our hearts? I want to serve God with everything in me but it makes it so hard when my desires are just sitting inside me suffocating, not being let out to live. I want to do art, I want to pray with other people, I want to fall in love with a man, I want to travel around the world, I want to learn guitar and the banjo and be able to create my own folk music, I want to take worship songs and turn them into something artistically beautiful to the ear, I want to make music sound like the earth created, I want to be able to laugh with my family and know they are going to heaven, I want to go on a road trip and feel the air in the window, laugh with friends, and to make memories. I want all of these things, but focusing on getting the tasks done each day, the drudgery of the day, the battle of finances and time, and being responsible, it all feels like I am missing out on life. But I don't want to. These desires in me want to be free, but I do not know how to make responsibility and joy come together. Maybe in time, or even now, God will teach me.