I wonder sometimes..

I guess it is really shallow of me to get mad at other people when they fail to care for me when I have a need. I mean most of us from church are trying to live by the Bible, but then I get so frustrated when the body is not working. Am I wrong to be mad when people are motivated to serve only when in some way it will bring them joy? What does it really mean to be a servant? I see so many people being an example of Christ from their own text booked bible in their head, but what about instead of thinking of all the words of the Bible scrambled in your head, why don't you pray to Christ for once and get in contact with the Spirit of God when you feel like being an example of Christ? I remember reading devotions and a chapter in a class about humility. Continually it talked about false humility. It talked about how false humility is not the act of being humble, but a heart change. It convicted me to see that even if I act humble, and even though I am pushing myself to try to be humble, there is in fact the possibility that I am not being humble at all and am in fact by the act of trying to act humble, I am not humble at all but extremely prideful. As I look back at tonight when I saw a few that not only did not want to help me get a ride, I saw that many did not give a response, but looked away. (Sorry if this was you and you are reading this, but hear what I have to say instead of being offended.) I look at this event, and honestly I do the same thing all the time! Someone asks me to involve myself with them in any way that I don't like, I shy away from that. Yet, God has called us to be the body, and one that is alive! I read a book and it gave testimony to a Church, or if you even read through Acts, there was the act of the rich giving to the poor. What a testimony! To not worry about money and to see it as God's. Why didn't anyone give me a ride? Do we fail to see that God will provide and bless when we seek to be servants with caring hearts, looking out for each other. Yet, when I asked people for a ride, everyone bowed their heads low. I was mad at this. I was mad because I felt a need and yet no one cared to even tell me politely no, many ignored and some gave haughty looks at me. I think of this and I wonder if I am even allowed to judge this instance, but it really tells a lot about humans in the church. The church is not perfect, many times we put ourselves and our needs first, and majorly the Church is HORRIBLE with money. We fail to give up our possesions for one another and did not Jesus say that it is hard for the rich to get into heaven? Why then is the Church so eager to hold tight to money and the worry of it all, when Jesus does not say "keep your money" but He says "give to the poor". It is odd to think that God says "do not worry" nor "be anxious", and yet we let both of those things get in the way of loving each other and caring for each other's needs. Perhaps I failed to care by realizing perhaps I should not have asked for help, but is that a feeling someone in the church should feel? that they can not ask for help? I think amazing things would happen if people would start giving of each other to each other, and caring. We are told that the commandments are summed up as "love your God" and then "love your neighbor as yourself" and yet many times our selfishness and our worries drive us to "love yourself", "maybe love God", and "if i have the time and money, ill love my neighbor".