Thirsty

I look back at high school. I remember wanting to be popular. I remember looking at the crowd in awe, as if I was missing out on something. I see how some who were at my level rose above and how many did not. I see the struggle between the male and female to fulfill something perhaps by dating to fill in a lack, or the struggle to get together and just try to enjoy, to get drunk together, to get high together. I remember struggling myself with desiring to be loved, to be enjoyed, to just belong somewhere. Yes, we all want to fit in. But there is something deeper at work. It is not just high school, because even now as I am sitting here at Moody Bible Institute, never thinking that I would be going here, I find myself assured and yes disillusioned. I am disillusioned by my desire to fit in, my desire to belong even at a place where belonging is already engraved. There is something in us that desires to have purpose, to succeed, to reveal to an unbelieving world that we don't mean to be outright jerks, we just want to belong and be accepted. Ya, a lot of the time we are fake, a lot of the time we mess up, and a lot of the times we are just plain weak. How many of us actually believe in ourselves and love ourselves? It is a pity to live but not love, it is a pity to get caught up in wanting to be accepted that you forget your purpose and cannot find it, it is a pity to drown in self pity while all the confidence is tried to be resurfaced as we pour into ourselves depression pills, and a pity as we falter but hide to try to mask that we have even failed, and we have forgotten to believe in one another without expecting someone to deserve being believed in. What happened to the fact that you are human is enough to deserve being believed in? We talk about suppressing the poor, but we ourselves who have risen to the top of the social scale have neglected those are the bottom. And does not the bible say that when you are weak you are strong? Many times we get caught up in just wanting to feel better about ourselves that we act irrationally. I don't know why it is I want to just feel loved right now, and even knowing that I am loved by God does not seem to remove the loneliness inside me. I have friends, I have God, but still I am just me, enclosed away from anything. I think maybe what I am struggling with and the world's problem in general, is that we are thirsty for the Spirit. We feel lack because God's Holy Spirit has left the bodies. To find what we are looking for we must drink the word of God, be filled with the Holy Spirit, and this is when we find what we've been looking for.

Revelations 22:17 The Spirit and the bride say, "Come." And let the one who hears say, "Come." And let the one who is thirsty come; let the one who wishes take the water of life without cost.