on my heart today

I think this year God is teaching me a lot about worship. One hard thing for me to accept is having my PCM (practical Christian ministry) on thursday nights. Not because of the PCM, but because the worship service (kind of like Bethel's worship night) is on thursday nights. This means I will not be able to be a part of this. Maybe God is trying to teach me also that I am not suppose to be in the music major. I really enjoy music, but I am starting to realize that music does not save people. No matter how I sing during worship it will not save someone. My focus was on being passionate in music and perhaps through that someone would want to be on stage worshiping the Creator with the same passion. I wanted to be an example. God has different plans I think. These past years I have been trying to learn guitar, but maybe the reason I am having so many difficulties is that God does not want me this to be a place in my life. Yet, why is there this desire in my heart still for music? Why does it feel like its the only thing in my life that will bring me back to God, the one thing that will help me in troubles, the one thing that will help me find peace when I am a reck, the one thing I feel I could love doing in my life? Why all of these feelings but God wants to with-hold it from me? Is it possible to make singing in worship an idle in your life? I think maybe I am starting to see different aspects within worship. We get up on stage, we sing the same lyrics, we recite recite recite, we sing loud honestly so maybe someone will hear and be moved by it, we try to be passionate to have an influence on others, but in this are we forgetting to put Father as number one, because I feel I have definitely made worship not a humble experience, an utter fall-on-my-knees to love, adore, and worship my ABBA. I want to learn to worship like David.