im in awe..a bit ashamed..and a little numb

No matter how much you think you know a person, I really don't think you can truly see who someone is by their actions. A man was married to a woman for several years, believing she was a devout Christian, when one day she decides to stop living a lie that she has tied other people into and has told him that she is a lesbian. Do we as Christians put that much of a strain on those around us that they will lie and hide their thoughts just to appease the ones they love? How terrible of a thought. I do not want to ever impose my religion on anyone, only influence in light that it has changed my life and I believe it can change theirs too. But if someone takes Christianity as a place they box themselves in then how can they truly find the freedom that Christ has given us by the cross? It saddens me not only to see that one of my professors has never really been a Christian, but more so that they felt they had to hide it! How insecure, and it all because we as Christians are sending off a signal that if you don't believe, we are not going to love you! But God's very word tells us to love everyone, even are enemies, to forgive anyone who has done the worst unforgivable harm to us! Yet, people get the picture through Christians that God is not loving, He is not merciful, He doesn't forgive, because we ourselves do not do it! Think about that every time you do not want to forgive someone, you are costing people a clear view of what Christ has done for us and especially you! How can we ever think to judge another person when God has died on the cross for us, shamed himself, separated Himself from His holy and righteous Father, placed into the fire of hell where pain is so extreme you can not even have a thought of who God is! Christ was separated from His very self.

I remember witnessing on the street with this event at Church, and how I wish I could have told this guy what it really meant when Christ died for us..but he said, "You know I have many friends who are dealing with cancer and their pain is far worse and far longer to endure than just dieing on a Cross." And I didn't know how to answer! But thinking about that day for years has really got me thinking! And I have come to conclude that there is no worse pain, no worse tragedy, nothing can ever compare to the immense suffering when Christ, who has always been with his father, be seperated from all that is holy, all that is loving, and sent to the depths of hell, seperated from his very self, HE NEVER EVEN SINNED. Talk about a feeling of wanting justice, none of us will ever feel that pain that Christ felt when He died for us...and we should be falling on our knees in praise for how things are and thanking that its not what it could be.

What if we had a God who hated?

What if you didn't get laughter or joy or love from others to get you through this life?

What if it all was pain and suffering? What if you were made to be tortured not loved?

Do we ever think about how things could be and bow down in utmost gratitude that our God is a loving God and gives us the choice to accept Him, to have a loving RELATIONSHIP (not religion) with him?


I just wish we as humans weren't so blind all the time and could see how easy it is just to trust in God, to let Him take control, to let Him sing over us and put us at ease...He just wants us to love Him!