God's glory

Last night I asked God if He is really there. I wanted to know why I have not heard His voice. I got angry and said that the only thing relative to Him are just words on pages! I realized this morning that I was being disrespectful. I had not focused on what He has done in my life and how I deserve none of it. Yet, God really showed up for me today. His love for me is beyond my understanding, but when I opened up my bible and read what I did, it was not just words but it was God loving me.

This is the passage, Exodus 33:18-23:

Then Moses said, "Now, please show me your glory."

The Lord answered, "I will cause all my goodness to pass in front of you, and I will announce my name, the Lord, so you can hear it. I will show kindness to anyone to whom I want to show kindness, and I will show mercy to anyone to whom I want to show mercy. But you cannot see my face, because no one can see my face and live.

There is a place near me where you may stand on a rock. When my glory passes that place, I will put you in a large crack in the rock and cover you with my hand until i have passed by. Then I will take away my hand, and you will see my back. But my face must not be seen."

How do I express what God is telling me through these verses so that others can understand? I have stared at this verse, understanding it, but not being able to type out the words to express it. With words I can not tell you why these verses tell me of how much God loves me. But I can tell you that God is so glorious that He can not even be seen by anyone, and He desires a relationship with us to the point of wanting to do anything to get us to see who He is. Just look at all that He did just to show Moses a glimpse of His glory. God could have said here see my face and Moses would die. But God took care of Moses, God covered Moses with His hand to keep him alive and in all of this effort just to answer Moses.

Even after demanding from God to reveal Himself to me, God answered me by saying "Look! I want to show my people my glory! It is not just you that wants to see, but it is also me that wants you to!" I deserved God to be mad at me, but instead He reveals His desire to relate with me.