Sunday, June 3, 2007
thoughts in my head
Do you ever feel like you should be thinking about something, but there is so much going on that it feels like nothing is going on? I can not explain what is going on through my head, through my life right now. What is God trying to teach me? I keep asking myself this, praying about it, but I do not understand why when I go to pray I can not come up with the words. My prayers are blank pages full of scribbled out words, because every time I start, I look at what I have said and say wow that is not something that should be prayed to God---I need to be thanking Him, not complaining. Yet, I need help. I need to get back on my feet, I need to start serving people again and loving on other people. It is not that I have stopped but I think I am at a point where God is telling me to get out of the trance at home where I do not do anything and start serving my parents with love. This is tough for me, because there are habits that are tough to break. Habits of that its okay that I don't do chores around the house, habits of its okay that you complain, habits of its okay to be lazy. Habits that need to be broken but I figure they can just wait. This isn't all that is going on, there is a lot more. a lot. I am trying to figure out why I hate Cub so much, why three days before I have to work I get a sick feeling in my stomache and want to throw up. Why there are these crazy theologies about spiritual gifts...what are spiritual gifts in the first place, how should they be used, which ones still exist today, and and and....? too many questions I wish never existed!!!!!! I really dislike this topic at the moment because it is frustrating and sickens my stomache. I really should find biblically sound people to explain spiritual gifts to me. I am also really excited for Moody, but I do not understand how if I want to be a missionary, why have I not led anyone to Christ in my life yet? seriously? And why in the back of my mind am I mad about the fact that people are going to hell, people that are just blind to the truth? and its all at our hands, Christians are responsible for this--we are here on earth and we are the muscle at work in order to reveal to people their sinfullness, help them understand truth so they will accept Christ into their heart. Really I know that God deserves to just stop everything right here and send us all to Hell, but He loves us to the deepest level that no one can ever comprehend and we should be on our knees day and night praising Him for who He is...and just for who He is even if He never did anything for us. Because He is amazing and should be confronted in awe. I do get sickened though when the human race disregards its brethren, its own kind. Reminds me of when animals will eat its own kind. We as a human race should be looking out for eachother, it anyone has a duty to save people it is humans, not God. God should not be looked at as the one that needs to save people, He has all right and authority not to but He chooses to out of love. But we are all sinners, and it is incredible horrible to justify that we do not have a duty to save each other, to help each other, to love each other. I know that if I can not lead someone to Christ, it is not my fault--it is only through the spirit that people are saved. But it is my fault when I have the good news and have an opportunity to share it and do not. I think a lot of the time we as Christians justify this, and that is not cool at all when it is at the cost of people's lives. We need to declare the gospel at all costs, to all people, with love and humbleness. It is our duty, we are commanded to do this. I am also struggling with lust lately. I really wish I would stop lusting over the desire for relationships with non-Christian guys...and even Christians. I need to put my focus on living my life for God, not on earthly desires. I know God created love between man and woman, that it is a beautiful thing, but when it takes the place of God in my heart- that is where all goes wrong. I just really wish I had that one person that would adore me, seperate me, and essentially pride me, make me feel special. This is where I think it is wrong. We are called to be humble, and I want a U-turn to being able to pride myself. It is not wrong to want to be loved, but to want to be prided is another issue and that is the issue im struggling with. There are many other things running through my head but I am not going to list them all...
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2 comments:
Just because you haven't seen first hand anyone accept Christ from you efforts does not mean that you have not had an influence on anyone. Don't feel such a burden, it is not us that does the saving, but The Holy Trinity working through us the way the Father sees fit. We are tools, He is the operator.
"We are weak, but He is strong"
Oh, and about the spiritual gifts (hopefully you'll find this useful) i received a wonderful response from
Alej
without asking :
What evidence is there for claiming that spiritual gifts are no longer needed, and therefore do not exist? Indirectly, this view begs the question: If some of the things Paul prescribed are no longer applicable, how do we distinguish those which really are no longer applicable from those which only seem inapplicable because of convenience? After all, man loves to cut and paste what he likes and discard the rest. I believe that spiritual gifts are still operating on two main grounds: (1) the Prophet Joel, in speaking of the latter days, writes that "I will pour out my Spirit on all people. Your sons and daughters will prophesy, your old men will dream dreams, your young men will see visions. Even on my servants, both men and women, I will pour out my Spirit in those days." (Joel 2:28-29); (2) the Apostle Paul, in describing the Body of Christ, does so in terms of spiritual gifts: "Now you are the body of Christ, and each one of you is a part of it. And in the church God has appointed first of all apostles, second prophets, third teachers, then workers of miracles, also those having gifts of healing, those able to help others, those with gifts of administration, and those speaking in different kinds of tongues. Are all apostles? Are all prophets? Are all teachers? Do all work miracles? Do all have gifts of healing? Do all speak in tongues? Do all interpret? But eagerly desire the greater gifts." (1 Cor. 12:27).
Concerning (1), some may say, "well, pouring out His Spirit doesn't mean spiritual gifts." Well, Peter quotes that passage from Joel when the gift of tongues is first manifested at Pentecost, so unless Peter was terribly deluded, this gift - and the ones that followed - are manifested by the Spirit. Also, Paul, 1 Cor. 12:4-7 writes: "There are different kinds of gifts, but the same Spirit. There are different kinds of service, but the same Lord. There are different kinds of working, but the same God works all of them in all men.Now to each one the manifestation of the Spirit is given for the common good." These gifts are manifested by the Spirit. Also, some other may say that Joel was speaking ONLY about the days of the Apostles. This is not the case, for in a few verses after the quoted passage, Joel speaks of the Day of the Lord, which has not yet taken place. This means that the "in those days" that Joel writes of began at Pentecost and will not stop until the Day of the Lord. Concerning (2), we should note that the body of Christ still exists today, but if its distinguishing functions (as determined by the Spirit, through gifts) no longer exist, then how come there are still different people doing different jobs in the body? If there are no longer gifts, then surely ANYONE could become a pastor, and this is certainly NOT the case. To say that gifts no longer operate is to mildly suggest that there is no specific, individual, calling any longer, which isn't not the case. The Lord may call one to be a pastor, a leader, etc, and does Paul not suggest in "There are different kinds of gifts, but the same Spirit. There are different kinds of service, but the same Lord. There are different kinds of working, but the same God works all of them in all men.Now to each one the manifestation of the Spirit is given for the common good." (ibid) that it is the spirit that provides a kind of gift for a kind of service/work?
People often use v. 8 of 1 Cor. 13 ("...But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away.") to defend their claiming that spiritual gifts no longer exist. They fail to notice, however, the following verse, viz., 9: "For we know in part and we prophesy in part, but when perfection comes, the imperfect disappears." This says that this will happen when perfection comes. Perfection has clearly NOT come.
I've heard a number of arguments against the contemporary existence of gifts. These Cessationalists, as they are often called, have not given any convincing arguments.
PS - I apologize for the typo in "To say that gifts no longer operate is to mildly suggest that there is no specific, individual, calling any longer, which isn't not the case." I meant "is not" and not "isn't not", as that double negation would contradict my point.
your many, many thoughts. I really appreciate how open you are and you got me to thinking... we as Christians really have so much opportunity to share the gospel, and yet I find my first thought when seeing a new face is not, "have you heard of Christ, let me tell you about Him" --not necessarily like that, but you get my point. This becomes a problem for me, and I struggle with this, because truly I need to be sharing the gospel with all I come in touch with. And with those who know Him, I should be growing in my relationship with God and should be held accountable. So I see where your frustration comes, but then I would point to what Dan wrote, and agree that it is only God that can make the change of heart. Yet, we are still commanded to bear fruit and proclaim the gospel... As far as breaking bad habits, pray and make the decision to not do them --and a way to do this is maybe doing something else... like when not feeling like doing anything but watch tv, maybe pick up an interesting book --therefore youre not just sitting there with your eyes glued to the tv, but your mind is working without you even realizing it, and youre creating an imaginative scene too. Tv now and then is fine, depending on what is being watched, but just find other things to occupy your mind and crave of entertainment in an active way, even if you weren't watching tv. Though with summer, this is a hard habbit to break and an easy one to get sucked into... so just limit your time...
i liked your post though, it was really good... and i'm so excited for you that you got into moody! :D
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