love.

Does God want us to understand? mostly I like to believe that He does. We were made to understand, weren't we? Or were we meant to simply love. The whole purpose to eating the apple was to gain knowledge, to gain understanding. So were we even meant to understand, what was there in need of to understand? If there was no sin, there was no reason to have to understand. But through gaining understanding sin entered. I guess I wonder why it is so crucial to understand things. Our whole lives are dedicated to searching for truth, searching for reason, to be rational. I get all these emotions and feelings, and so I try to understand the reasoning for them. Yet, I start to wonder if people place rationality over their feelings for another, and if they do then how do two people fall in love? Every relationship has faults, and its the mystery of not understanding what will happen and clinging to the feelings that makes you dive into a relationship. But what happens if you let go of that feeling? What happens if you dedicate your life to reason and understanding, how does love fit in the picture? Why does love need to be understood, to be placed in these boxes of what seems right. I am not talking about God's commandment, but moreso of the expectations of others. We think that because people expect this, we should take the advice and live our lives accordingly. Yet there are so many times in my life where I feel like I listened so much to reason that the fruit of love is never accomplished. I am stagnant in trying to understand the best possible fit, never finding it and never gaining it. Maybe I just need to let go of reason for once and embrace beauty...like those of the Renaissance. Not really abandoning God's law--because that is beauty, but more so abandoning the logic of humans, the expectations, and lean on what God has created--feelings, beauty, nature, love, creatures, music, dance, photography, ...worship. Everything is essentially worship, even logic and understanding leads to worship. Yet I think if we focus so much on trying to understand we lose the big picture-it's about love.