some thoughts on devo's this morning

I found this encouraging as I read this morning. I am reading a book I got from a friend at my baptism and it is called Living the Cross Centered Life and on Chapter 8 it talks about suffering and being alone. He gave the example that he once came from a funeral service of his fathers death and pulled to the side of the road, and just wept...and for the first time wept alone. What is significant of why he mentions this, is that he pointed out that though he were suffering, he was not suffering as much as those who really don't have anyone in the time of death. For he had many sitting at the funeral service ready to weep with him. Then he gave the picture of Christ. On the cross Christ felt alone, and literally was alone. The Father had abandoned him for the Father to be just can not be in the presence of sin and Christ bore all of our sin. Therefore Christ felt the utter separation that we glimpse at in feeling alone. He actually was alone! What a beautiful thing to know that because of Christ we will never experience that, he became alone so that our feeling of being alone may never become a reality. That is just one beauty of the cross!

Also I have become discouraged the past years about knowledge. I use to be so eager to learn God's word and then show off in a sense what amazing things God was teaching me! Now I feel like I am walking through a dry stream, there are clouds and the mist is clouding my way. I don't see the joy of the light of knowledge, I wish it would come light my path itself, I don't know how to attain it anymore. It all seems to be a fog to me. It is hard for me to pick up a book for class and just learn. It is hard for me to finish my summer class right now because I don't have the knowledge within to spill forth a bible study that could actually benefit others. I have no inspiration, and honestly I just feel plain stupid. And in reality I am! Compared to the knowledge of God, yes, but how foolish to ever want to think I could actually attain that, to beat myself up for feeling stupid when I am comparing myself to God, of course I can never attain that! That is the beauty of humility, being okay with just the way you are and submitting to God. I have to trust in Him to work through me and knowing that even with my limited knowledge, and the slow process it takes at times to learn, it is best to grow in the knowledge of the Lord Jesus Christ. That is what matters! It does not matter if I get an A next semester in Sociology, what matters is if I am growing in the knowledge of who Jesus Christ is. For it is in knowing Him that our hope grows and our affirmation to ourselves of who we really believe in is defined. I must recognize Him or I believe the lies and my sin hardens my heart. He is ultimately glorious, gracious, forgiving, slow to anger, kind, and sooo tender hearted! I can't imagine wanting to gain knowledge in any other area, and to know that He is the one to reveal Himself and that He already has through His words, means there is free knowledge, not of myself but because of Him who has simplified Himself in human terms that we may know Him. That is the greatest grace that I can think of today, and I am absolutely in amazement of His love for me.