Suffering, Service, Supplication

I heard a speaker today talking about how we are to endure life. That life is hard and that it will get harder, and that is just the way it is. Besides this today, two days earlier I read a book about a martyr. I have always felt sick to my stomach about thinking of the thought of suffering physical pain for the cause of Christ. I guess I just hate pain, and who doesn't? Ah, but shouldn't Christ's sacrifice for me be enough to fill me with joy of His love to encourage me to endure pain for Him, that is the least I could do. right? I have been continually reminded lately that becoming a Christian does not mean all glory and peace, it does not mean that I have found the fairy tale (yet), and it does not mean that life is fixed. Every day I struggle to die to myself, I struggle against selfishness and not wanting to obey, I struggle with the lust and desires of my heart that are not in tune with God's heart, I struggle with wanting to gratify myself before anyone else, I struggle with wanting to be in control and have everything fit into a perfect picture life for me, I struggle with wanting to glorify myself and aim to attain the best life fit for me. But this is not going to benefit me, no matter how much I want to twist the laws of this world, no matter how much I want to make "my ways" His ways. There is no denying that I am screwed up and so is everyone around me, we all are. The only way I am going to fix this world is by helping serve those around me, and I believe that if more of us served each other because I believe in the power of community, that it will help encourage us and to be there for each other amongst the suffering to endure. God says He does not leave us alone, He is with us always. Instead of seeing life as a suffering pit to wither through, I can look it as this: Christ suffered and the more I suffer the closer I come to understanding His heart and what He went through. I also believe that suffering strengthens our character and keeps us from failing each other, it reminds us of the gross depravity of sin, to keep us aware of trying to obey God's word in order to love and to spur on peace in this world, instead of being the one that does not care, gratifies himself and loves the sin that so depraves man. We must hate sin, we must endure suffering, we must seek God's love otherwise we will never be encouraged to endure and to find that joy amongst the suffering, and we must fight together, and if we must be alone the Son will never leave us, His presence will be with us. So, fight with me and endure this life with me, and seek truth and justice. Seek that which is right, because we so desperately need it.