todays frustrations

I sometimes wonder why the world around me does not seem to care about other people and yet desires within themselves meaningful relationships. There are all these people here at school trying to get more truth, more knowledge, more meaning into their life to do better ministry for others, and yet they debate about different theologies but not remembering the relationships between people. Do we Christians want to be right all the time that we forget that there is a hurting world out there that does not need theology but truth working through people who love and love not out of submission but out of the effect of compassion on others?? I wish that I could make people love, I wish I myself could love selflessly and to not care about being right. Why inside of us is there this desire to be first? ...what about that verse that tells us those that are first are last? We must humble ourselves. Yet, it FEELS unfulfilling to be last. I do not mean being humble, for even in humbleness we desire to be first..first in being the best at being humble (don't deny)....yet what is this selfless love Christ talks about? Why instead of debating theology in class why do we not talk about the selfless love of Christ and how to attain it. Ya, tell me how to be humble and what it means, but if we do not apply it how is it developing in my life to help me be better at ministry. If you talk about all these facts and ideas and beliefs of the bible and yet do not talk about how it connects with Christ and His walk, what is the point? Ya, I came to Moody to learn a lot about God's word, but I am getting sick of it because it is all about beliefs and not your walk.

God, open my eyes to see the love.