thoughts

I think a lot of the time I just think way too much. I do not think it is a bad thing to study something to understand what is correct and what is not, but when you over-analyze things it can become a step backwards, not forward. I tend to over-analyze things that don't need to be, like wondering why friends aren't calling me. or wondering why I have so much free time. or over-thinking on the negative of the day and why it is there. or why am i not more popular. or why are other girls more attractive, or i just seem to be overlooked most of the time. A lot of the time I think I am just questioning who God is and what I am in this world. My mind is such a mess lately, I can not even put across what I am thinking in my mind. This is probably why it is a good thing that I am not going to school until January. But what I mean to sum up is that I think about things too much that don't have easy answers, and then I end up becoming negative or jealous or depressed. Right now mainly my problem is that I dwell on why am I even living, and then I go on to think about why aren't my friends calling me today, then I go onto thinking about how other people have boyfriends now and wondering why I don't and becoming jealous of others, and then I go on to think about how I just want my job to end--it seems pointless to work, and then I find myself analyzing that maybe I am not serving enough and that is why I feel at a loss, and then I go onto wonder why I keep liking guy after guy but nothing happens, or why it doesn't feel like I am living to the fullest, and wondering if it is ever going to come in the future or if i can make it happen right now or if right now is how it will always be....I am just a mess of thoughts, and the main thing I am trying to do is learn what God is teaching me. I think I just need some time to let God finish a lot of the work He is doing until I can actually see what is going on with me right now.